Credentials Aren’t the Attractor
Overview
I was talking to my crazy awesome therapist the other day about the incident involving my teachers — the one I shared with you last week. I shared with her that I decided to extricate myself somewhat from their spheres of influence and to stop leaning so heavily on their teachings in my own work.
This led to an exploration on how I've made sure that others are aware of my teachers' credentials, as if doing so adds legitimacy to my work through my proximity to those more accomplished than me.
Then, my therapist shared an observation: there was dissonance when it came to me leaning on my own credentials when the work I was offering the world wasn't derived from them. Or something to that effect.
And what she said next really hit me hard.
[I'm totally paraphrasing here based on my memory of our conversation, but the examples are the ones she offered me to make her point.]
"I would be really drawn to work with you, but it's not because of your credentials. It's because you have a really healthy relationship with your grown daughter.
It's because you share with transparency how you navigate situations without having figured everything out, and from a place of integrity.
It's because I can tell that integrity and transparency are really important to you.
It's because you were invited into places that white people rarely are [she was referring to my participation in Indigenous sweat lodge ceremonies, sacred pipe ceremonies, drum circle practices (as an observer), a 5-day spiritual fast with an elder, and even a meeting with a political prisoner and some of AIM's founders]...and that tells me a lot about you.
These are the reasons that make me want to work with you — and they have nothing to do with your coaching credentials."
I felt seen…and validated.
What I learned in that moment is that I don't have to prove myself by getting yet another certification or training and then making sure the world knows about it; that when I gave up comfort and 'The American Dream' so that I could move into deeper integrity with my soul some 27 years ago and the heaps of inner work that I've done since is what will draw the right people to my door.
The credential is the inner work.
The ‘proof’ is in the places I’ve been more than the letters trailing my name.
Circling back to you, friend...
Where do you aim to impress others by leaning on either your credentials or proximity to something that you perceive them to value?
How does it leave you feeling when you do this?
What underlies this desire to impress?
If you are willing, consider reflecting on how you might show up more authentically and without the need to impress others.
Finally, consider how you would respond—internally and externally—if someone else did the same. Hmmmm...
That is all.
Hi! I’m Kristi.
I help women & genderqueer folk liberate themselves from capitalism’s self-blaming hamster wheel of “mindset work”, bootstrapping, and “never enoughness” while navigating life’s day-to-day challenges. This work is, ultimately, about helping humans move into deeper integrity with who they truly are so that they can flourish and contribute meaningfully to our collective liberation. Click here to learn more.
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